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考研英语写作小作文批改范文:邀请信(二)

时间:2015-11-25 22:30:50 字数:来源:互联网

0-4分

第一篇

Dear Bob,

There will be held a wonderful music concern for piano and violin in the Musical Hall of the Centre Conservatory Of Music on Junuary 15st . We would be honored to have you there with us.

The occasion will start at 7:00 PM on time. This will be followed by a ticket that we have to given you by Express Email Survice before the concern. At around 6:50PM, January 15st, you may arrived to the CCOM because staff is checking our tickets ahead of time.

I really hope you can make it RSVP before 6:50PM,January 15st,2013.

Sincerely yours,
Li Ming

修改意见:

Dear Bob,

There will be held (删除)a wonderful music (音乐会是concert)concern for(改为concerning) piano and violin in the Musical Hall of the Centre Conservatory Of Music on Junuary(拼写错误,改为January) 15st . We would be honored to have you there with us.

The occasion will start at 7:00 PM on time. This will be followed by a ticket that we have to given you by Express Email Survice before the concern. (理解有误,本意是让你写在这个occasion后面是另外一个活动)At around 6:50PM, January 15st, you may arrived to the CCOM because staff is checking our tickets ahead of time.

I really hope you can make it RSVP before 6:50PM,January 15st,2013.

Sincerely yours,
Li Ming

2分

微点评:你对模版的理解不透彻,还不清楚每部分要写的内容,建议你看看论坛上别的同学的作文,了解一下每部分具体要写什么内容。

第二篇

Dear Mark,

There will be a volunteer activitiy in the Children's Welfare Institute Of Nanjing on this weekend . We would be honored to have you there with us. The occasion will start at 08:00.This will be followed by one more arrangement .At around10:00, there will be another activity after the performance. All of us are going to Zhongshan park to have a Picnic, while helping Lily, the youngest girl in our group, to celebrity her birthday. I really hope you can make it. RSVP before the deadline for September 15th.

修改意见:

Dear Mark,

There will be a volunteer activitiy(拼写错误,改为activity) in the Children's Welfare Institute Of Nanjing on this weekend . We would be honored to have you there with us. The occasion will start at 08:00.This will be followed by one more arrangement(此处应该写一个具体的活动) .At around10:00, there will be another activity after the performance(删除 ). All of us are going to Zhongshan park to have a Picnic, while helping Lily, the youngest girl in our group, to celebrity (改为celebrate)her birthday.(给某人过生日,不要用help)I really hope you can make it. RSVP before the deadline for (删除,RSVP before的意思就是在…之前通知我)September 15th.

加Sincerely yours,
你的名字

3分

微点评:要注意书信的写作格式,你对模版的理解不透彻而且英语基础比较薄弱,建议你多看看满分作文。

第三篇

Dear Xiaohui,

There will a dinner party at my house on April 12, 2013. We would be honored to have you there with us.

The occasion will start at six o’clock in the evening; with the taking photos. This will be followed by a dinner party. At around ten o’clock, we will have face party.

I really hope you can make it, RSVP be fore April 12, we look forward to the pleasure of your company.

Yours sincerely,
Li Ming

修改意见:

Dear Xiaohui,

There will (加be)a dinner party at my house on April 12, 2013. We would be honored to have you there with us.

The occasion will start at six o’clock in the evening; with the taking photos.(删除) This will be followed by {a dinner party}. At around ten o’clock, we will have face party.(假面舞会是a masquerade ball )

I really hope you can make it, RSVP be fore April 12, we look forward to the pleasure of your company.

Yours sincerely,
Li Ming

3分

微点评:考研的小作文要写到100词,写的太少是要被扣分的,这个模版只是给你提供了一个思路,很多内容还是需要自己填充的,另外,你开头说有一个dinner party,那么第二段的occasion指的就是这个party,因此This will be followed 后面要加一个新的活动,不能还是dinner party了。

第四篇

Dear Bob,

We will to hold a school-wide party for Chinese cultural exchange on Saturday next week in School Club. I am sure you would like it, as we all know it for you wonder to hear any regarding culture of China.

There occasion will starting on seven o'clock inevening, with a dinner party for convenient we understand other person. At around nine, free exchange will begin.

If you do not any primay appointment at Saturday next week, we look forward to the pleasure of your company.

Yours Truly LI Ming

修改意见:

Dear Bob,

We will to hold a school-wide party for Chinese cultural exchange on Saturday next week in School Club. I am sure you would like it, as we all know it for you wonder to hear any regarding culture of China.(不能理解你的意思)

There(改为The) occasion will starting (will 后面加动词原形) on (改为at)seven o'clock in (加the)evening, with a dinner party for convenient we understand other person(不能理解你的意思). At around nine, free exchange will begin.

If you do not (加have)any primay(改为prior) appointment at(改为on) Saturday next week, we look forward to the pleasure of your company.

Yours Truly(t写,加逗号)
LI Ming

2分

微点评:你的英语基础比较薄弱,建议你多背一些满分作文,积累一些好词好句。

第五篇

Dear Bob,

There will be a New Year party holded by the Students' Union of Chinese Language and Literature Department at school stadium on January 1st. We would be honored to have you there with us.

The occasion will start at 6:00 o'clock in the evening. This will be followed by a hot dancing farewell with all students there. At around one hour later, the game concerning not only dare or truth but also table games will start.

I really hope you can make it and celebrate the festival with us.RSVP before December 27th.

Yours faithfully Li Ming

修改意见:

Dear Bob,

There will be a New Year party holded(改为held )by the Students' Union of Chinese Language and Literature Department at school stadium on January 1st. We would be honored to have you there with us.

The occasion will start at 6:00 o'clock in the evening. This will be followed by a hot dancing(改为dance) farewell with(用词不当,farewell with 是和…挥别的意思,而在hot dance后面还有活动) all students there. At around one hour later(at around后面加具体的时间点), the game concerning not only dare or truth but also(改为dare or truth and ) table games will start.

I really hope you can make it and celebrate the festival with us(make it 就有后面和我们一起庆祝节日的意思了.) RSVP before December 27th.

Yours faithfully(加逗号)
Li Ming

4分

微点评:你对模版不熟悉,建议你多看看满分作文,熟悉一下这类作文的写作思路。对于不熟悉其词义或用法的词,尽量不用。

5-7分

第一篇

Dear Kate,

There will be a Christmas party at English corner on Dec.25th. We would be honored to have you there with us. The occasion will start at 6 p.m. This will be followed by a game. At around 7 p.m. a meeting will be held. I really hope you can make it. RSVP before Dec.24th.

Campus English Corner
October 22, 2012

修改意见:

Dear Kate,

There will be a Christmas party at English corner on Dec.25th. We would be honored to have you there with us. The occasion will start at 6 p.m. This will be followed by a game. At around 7 p.m. a meeting will be held. I really hope you can make it. RSVP before Dec.24th.

(加Sincerely yours,) Campus English Corner
October 22, 2012(删除)

5分

微点评:考研小作文的字数要求是100词左右,你的作文虽然没有大问题,但是包含的内容太少,句型变换等也太少了。另外,要注意书信的格式。

第二篇

Dear Miss Yuan,

There will be a celebrity party for the new year in the activity room on the next Saturday. We would be honored to have you there with us.

The occasion will start at 6 o’clock in the evening. This will be followed by a serious of wonderful performances played by our classmates. At around 8 o’clock, we project some interaction activities to animate the atmosphere so as to promote the relationships of classmates. What’s more, we prepared some gifts to be presented to the winners.

I really hope you can make it. RSVP before the next Wednesday.

Yours sincerely,
Li Ming

修改意见:

Dear Miss Yuan,

There will be a celebrity(改为celebration) party for the new year in the activity room on the next Saturday. We would be honored to have you there with us.

The occasion will start at 6 o’clock in the evening. This will be followed by a serious(拼写错误,改为series) of wonderful performances played by our classmates. At around 8 o’clock, we project some interaction activities to animate the atmosphere so as to promote the relationships of classmates. What’s more, we prepared some gifts to be presented to the winners.

I really hope you can make it. RSVP before the(删除) next Wednesday.

Yours sincerely,
Li Ming

7分

微点评:写作文的时候再细心一些,注意单词的拼写。背单词时要把词义背牢。

第三篇

Dear Professor,

There will an Academic Exchange of East Asia International Law at No.1 lecture theatre on April 19, 2012. We should be honored to have you there with us.

The occasion will start at 14:30. This will be followed by a communication about application of law of East Asia economic trade with other professors and experts come from Japan, Korea and other countries. At around 19:30, a dancing party will be holding in university auditorium.

I really hope you can make it. RSVP before April 12,2012.

Law School PKU
April 5,2013

修改意见:

Dear Professor,

There will an Academic Exchange of East Asia International Law at No.1 lecture theatre on April 19, 2012. We should be honored to have you there with us.

The occasion will start at 14:30. This will be followed by a communication about application of law of East Asia economic trade with other professors and experts come(改为coming) from Japan , Korea and other countries. At around 19:30, a dancing party will be holding(改为held) in university auditorium.

I really hope you can make it. RSVP before April 12,2012.

加Yours sincerely,
Law School PKU
April 5,2013(删除)

7分

微点评:注意书信的格式以及被动语态的问题。一句话里不能有两个谓语动词。

第四篇

Dear Bob,

There will be a summer celebrate party for teenagers at the playground of Beijing Forgin University on this weekend. We would be honored to have you there with us.

The occasion will start at 9:00 to 11:00in the morning of the Weekend. This will be followed by a music gathering which you can communicate with others, also you can eat various kinds of delicious food. At around the next time to 5:00 pm, it is the free time for us to take a series of activities, such as playing cards, singing songs and so on.

I really hope you can make it. RSVP before the final date that I have informed to you.

Sincerely yours,
Li Ming

修改意见:

Dear Bob,

There will be a summer celebrate party for teenagers at the playground of Beijing Forgin (拼写错误,改为Foreign)University on this weekend. We would be honored to have you there with us.

The occasion will start at 9:00 to 11:00(start后面接的是具体的某个时间点)in the morning of the Weekend. This will be followed by a music gathering which you can communicate with others, also you can eat various kinds of delicious food. At around the next time to(删除) 5:00 pm, it is the free time for us to take a series of activities, such as playing cards ,singing songs and so on.

I really hope you can make it. RSVP before the final date that I have informed to you.(写一个具体的时间,例如本周四)

Sincerely yours,
Li Ming

5分

微点评:你对模版的理解不够透彻,建议你对于同一个题目,多看一些模版,然后归纳出一个自己的模版。

第五篇

Dear Mr.Bob,

There will be a nationwide academic communicatiom involved in the education of China in Peking University on Wendsday. We would be honored to have you there with us. The occasion will start at eight o'clock am on that day. This will be followed by a dabate on social phenomenon nowadays. At around ten o'clock, there will be a interaction between parents and their childrens.

I really hope you can make it. RSVP before Tuesday.

Yours sincerely
Li Ming

修改意见:

Dear Mr.Bob,

There will be a nationwide academic communicatiom(拼写错误,改为communication) involved in the education of China in Peking University on Wendsday(拼写错误,改为Wednesday). We would be honored to have you there with us. The occasion will start at eight o'clock am on that day(删除). This will be followed by a dabate(拼写错误,改为debate) on social phenomennon(拼写错误,改为phenomenon) nowadays. At around ten o'clock, there will be a(改为an) interaction between parents and their childrens(children是child复数)

I really hope you can make it. RSVP before Tuesday.

Yours sincerely(加逗号)
Li Ming

5分

微点评:写作文时要细心一些,你的作文没有什么大问题,就是拼写错误太多了。

8-10分

第一篇

Dear Dr.Wang,

There will be a conference about global environment held at auditorium in our university on January 5th. We would be honored to have you there with us.

The occasion will start at 9:00 in the morning. This will be followed by a brilliant speech from our foreign guests. At around 10:00 a.m., a debate of environmental issues will be given by students from both China and America.

I really hope you can make it. RSVP before next Friday.

Yours sincerely,
Li Ming

修改意见:

Dear Dr.Wang,

There will be a conference about global environment held at auditorium in our university on January 5th. We would be honored to have you there with us.

The occasion will start at 9:00 in the morning. This will be followed by a brilliant speech from our foreign guests. At around 10:00 a.m., a debate of environmental issues will be given by students from both China and America.

I really hope you can make it. RSVP before next Friday.

Yours sincerely,
Li Ming

9分

微点评:作文写得很好,没有语法错误,但是内容要是再丰富一些会更好。

第二篇

Dear Xiaoqiang,

There will be a banquet to celebrate the admission of Beijing University for our best friend Tracy in my home on January 5,2013. We would be honored to have you there with us.

The occasion will start at five O'clock in the afternoon. This will be followed by a hearty dinner which my wife will cook. At around seven O'clock,we will hold a small dancing ball that I think everybody would enjoy it.

I really hope you can make it. RSVP before December 28,2012.

Yours sincerely,
Li Ming

修改意见:

Dear Xiaoqiang,

There will be a banquet to celebrate the admission of Beijing University for our best friend Tracy in my home on January 5,2013. We would be honored to have you there with us.

The occasion will start at five O'clock in the afternoon. This will be followed by a hearty dinner which my wife will cook. At around seven O'clock,we will hold a small dancing ball that I think everybody would enjoy it.

I really hope you can make it. RSVP before December 28,2012.

Yours sincerely,
Li Ming

10分

微点评:作文写得非常不错,继续保持!

第三篇

Dear Mary,

There will be a high school reunion at Lijiang Hall of Cuihu Hotel on May 15th. We would be honored to have you there with us.

The occasion will start at 2:30 p.m. This will be followed by a speech given by monitor in memory of our headmaster. At around 5:00 p.m, there will be a banquet held by student union of our school, in which Chef Monica and her team will provide various kinds of classical school snacks to all of the guests.

I really hope you can make it. RSVP before this weekend.

Yours truly,
Li Ming

修改意见:

Dear Mary,

There will be a high school reunion at Lijiang Hall of Cuihu Hotel on May 15th. We would be honored to have you there with us.

The occasion will start at 2:30 p.m. This will be followed by a speech given by monitor in memory of our headmaster. At around 5:00 p.m, there will be a banquet held by student union of our school, in which Chef Monica and her team will provide various kinds of classical (用词不当,改为classic) school snacks to all of the guests.

I really hope you can make it. RSVP before this weekend.

Yours truly,
Li Ming

9分

微点评:作文写得很不错,如果对于classical和 classic 分不清的话,你就可以不写,写错了反而要扣分。

第四篇

Dear Xiaoming,

There will be a ceremony for new students in our school hall on October 20.We would be honored to have you there with us .The occasion will start at seven o’clock in the evening .This will be followed by a dinner party including Chinese and English songs , modern dance and instrumental performance. At around ten, we will hold a small ball, in which students can have further understanding about each other and our school.

I really hope you can make it. RSVP before this Friday afternoon.

Yours sincerely,
Li Ming

修改意见:

Dear Xiaoming,

There will be a ceremony for new students in our school hall on October 20.We would be honored to have you there with us .The occasion will start at seven o’clock in the evening .This will be followed by a dinner party including Chinese and English songs , modern dance and instrumental performance. At around ten, we will hold a small ball, in which students can have further understanding about each other and our school.

I really hope you can make it. RSVP before this Friday afternoon.

Yours sincerely,
Li Ming

10分

微点评:这篇作文写得非常好,基本没有问题,继续保持!

第五篇

Dear Amy,

There will be a lecture given by Lucius Annaeus Seneca at Roman Forum on the morning of August 18th, BC50. We would be honored to have you there with us.

The occasion will start at nine o'clock. This will be followed by a debate between scholars. At around mid-afternoon, Nero the Emperor will show himself up.

We really hope you can make it. RSVP before the third day you have got our letter. Yours truely,

River Song and the Doctor

修改意见:

Dear Amy,

There will be a lecture given by Lucius Annaeus Seneca at Roman Forum on the morning of August 18th, BC50. We would be honored to have you there with us.

The occasion will start at nine o'clock. This will be followed by a debate between scholars. At around mid-afternoon, Nero the Emperor will show himself up.

We really hope you can make it. RSVP before the third day you have got our letter. Yours truely(拼写错误,改为truly),

River Song and the Doctor

8分

微点评:作文写得很好,就是要注意一下单词拼写,另外,内容最好再扩充一下。


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